My innate tender heart leads me more and more with each new day. I think it used to, way back in early childhood. Recently an old friend called who I hadn’t talked with in years. She was sharing with me a serious illness she is experiencing, and a request for me to be available for her kids. Then she asked an odd question, with some hesitation, “Who are you now?…What are you?”
A little surprised by her question, my mind quickly processed that over the years of our lack of communication, she may have heard from others that I’d “gone astray”. The only astray I had gone was on a journey of letting go of worldly dramas, standards of success, and expectations that would eventually lead me back to my inherent tender heart.
I didn’t say all that – rather I replied saying I was who she knew me to be when we met at age 8 or 9, before I got messed up! We both laughed…a laugh of many unspoken years, and a sense of sisterhood as if to say, “Yes, I understand! I know who you are. I am comfortable with you. I love you!”
My hope is that no person, question nor circumstance intimidates me toward being who I am not. I have had lots of help along this walk. Being associated with Arasini Foundation and A Healing Place has been instrumental – – no, rehabilitating, as teacher and partner in my personal healing.
An online class, “Your Soul Voice – Allowing Authentic Self to Be Heard”, was created through a culmination of almost 19 years finding my way back to me. As I reviewed drafts of the class and listened to my voice, my heart just opened and I actually liked it! I have taught for years, but never through recording. And always with lots of interaction – yes it is a good teaching tool but mainly used to divert the focus from me. Somehow the recording felt like a do or die. It was time to commit my voice and message to a fixture that would be put out to the world. For all to hear, process and judge as they would choose.
It no longer matters to me. That may sound negative…trust me, it is not. It has taken a long time to get to this level of acceptance. Whoever you are and whatever you do, my wish for you is that you experience it all from your authentic heart.
Laura Sarna
