We are deep in winter’s gloom now. The weather this year is especially hard—filled with long cold droughts, price or powerful storms that march through day after day. We spend most of our time inside, mind with fewer activities to pull us out of ourselves and keep us on a somewhat even keel.
We gripe about the weather. We criticize people and situations around us. Our fuse is short and we’re ready to take on most anything that annoys us. More often than not, we aren’t even aware that we are stuck in negativity—it’s just the way things are. This is a common condition for many of us, particularly during a winter like this.
Something that helps me lift the gloom and be more peaceful and content, is to focus on being more grateful. When I search every day for things to appreciate, I am brighter, more openhearted, and a more pleasant companion.
It isn’t quite as simple as it sounds. It doesn’t work very well if I just notice good things in my day, and then move on. Most of us notice positive things, but rarely give ourselves a few moments to let the appreciation sink in. It makes a big difference when we take time to really cherish the blessings in our lives.
As I started concentrating on feeling appreciation for my bright spots, I discovered that there were many more of them than I had previously recognized. It was as if I placed a fresh lens to my eyes that sparked new positive thoughts.
I looked for positive things in everyday happenings. I felt grateful for finding an empty space in a crowed parking lot, and sat in my car for a few seconds and felt grateful. I savored the enjoyment (with no guilt) of a delicious piece of chocolate. I recognized and felt my joy at hearing the voice of a dear friend on the telephone.
As the days went by, I’ve celebrated more deeply a wide range of wonderful things—a meaningful talk with my son, a dentist’s skillful painless work, a moment of bright laughter with my husband. I’ve found that as my gratefulness grows, it continues to deepen my days.
An area of gratefulness I particularly embrace is what I call my secret victories. These are moments when I follow my wiser self, rather than give in to my baser impulses. When I don’t pass on a bit of juicy gossip or I respond to an irritating remark with love, I feel gratitude that I am being more the person I want to be. The more I celebrate my secret victories, the more I appreciate how they help me to love myself.
My friend Jill mentioned that everyday she writes down three things for which she is grateful. She puts a twist to it, however: she lists experiences from the day before. I followed her suggestion and have discovered that by writing about the previous day, I add new depth and perspective. I like revisiting past experiences, and seeing how they re-energize me.
I don’t know if this grateful zone I’ve been living in lately is creating new things to appreciate, or if I am just noticing what is there before me. Does it really matter? All I know is that by actively appreciating, I am waking up to a fuller, more energetic life.
I’d love to hear what gratefulness means to you.
Thanks to Ed Packard for the lovely picture he recently took of winter light, just north of Flagstaff, Arizona.
Lucia,
Thank you for your insights and help with ways to freshen up our perspective during the dreary cold winter! Reading and relating to the exercises of gratitude you described inspires me to share my “usage” of the words or energies of gratitude, gratefulness, appreciation and acceptance of all things.
Saying, thinking, and feeling “thank you” toward the crisis, pain, getting in the back of a long line, discord within the family, challenges at work, bold disagreements, fear around money, computer crashes, being cut-off in traffic, and any other demands for growth are moments of healing for me. The grateful energy instantly shifts me into my heart and I can feel myself engaged with something bigger than me that I can trust to come forward into the situation.
As I practice this, and each time become a little more successful at releasing my ego and surrendering into the moment, surprising (and always positive) things occur! Living this way for me greatly emphasizes my ability and right for choice – to choose how I wish to see and respond to everything in my life.
Gratefully yours…..
I really like what you said about living with gratefulness as an attitude that emphasizes and reminds us of our right to choose how to respond in every corner of our lives.
Thank you!